Going through a slam-book 10 years later made me realize a few things, why ‘young & stupid’ go well together (:P) and how much I had forgotten, about myself and my besties at the time. The human mind is a ‘funny’ place; it can be so amazing yet so picky when it comes to memories. Anyway, going through it this morning reminded me of this post I’ve been meaning to write since Friendship Day…
The beginning of a friendship can be such an amazing phenomenon, one might even say unforgettable, but how much do we actually remember? First smiles, first conversations, first impressions, fun times at coffee shops, pubs, etc… how much actually remains imprinted in our minds if not on paper? (Probably why I love photographs & diaries)
Some blossom into beautiful long-term if not life-long friendships, some fade away with time, some don’t even make it past the organization/institute where it was born. To me, it is perhaps the best relationship there is! Some may argue, ‘Family comes first’, ‘Blood is thicker than water’, etcetera but I think friendship has the perfect balance of everything, (love, respect, trust, space, fun, freewill, loyalty & being on the same wavelength) something most relationships lack. Of course there are exceptions to this, like when someone you consider a good friend does not feel the same, but then again that’s like calling a crush, yours! (:P)
Now I know there are many types of friends, but I’m just talking about the close ones, the ones you’ll tell your kids about (doubt we’ll live long enough to talk to our grandkids), the ones that bring a smile to your face without even being around, ones you can count on to lift your spirits sans alcohol. I have a handful of these so far and I love them almost as much as myself.
They say ‘You can’t choose your family but you can sure choose your friends’; Is it strange then, that I didn’t choose any of them? Ever! In my experience of friendship, I’ve noticed, I do not know how to befriend another being. From as far back as I can remember, I’ve never intentionally made friends, we just sort of became friends…?!
The first that I remember was my neighbour’s visiting niece since I didn’t interact with the kids from the building (coz language was a huge barrier). And it was fine coz I could count on my elder sister to make up for any quiet or peace I had. The next few friends were the boys I shared a rickshaw to school with, fun times! Then there was my first girl group – the ‘Amar-Akbar-Anthony’ days, I don’t even know how this happened but we were awesome! Somehow we strayed apart in secondary school and soon I became friends with the annoying girl who sat behind me in class. After that, the family moved to the school area and the groups kept expanding & I here I am with ‘the school/area-friends’ for life (hopefully). Then camp happened, and with all the ice-breakers and team challenges it was hard not to come out friends. Junior college was filled with these guys (school/area+camp), and I managed to make a few more friends, mostly through them; Boy-friend/best-friend-ever, included!
It wasn’t until June 2008 that I had given friendship much thought; I joined a new college for Bachelors and found myself in the midst of complete strangers, no friends-of-friends, nothing. And usually I don’t talk to strangers but I guess it’s hard not to, especially when people turn to you and say ‘Hi! I’m …’ 😛 And surprisingly within months, I made the best friends I’ve ever had, guess what, I didn’t choose them either. Work phase that followed was too short lived so not much but work happened there; met lots of fun people but turns out it never was special enough to qualify.
And now, a month & half into PG classes, it’s the same dilemma, new faces and new subjects. I’m trying my best not to judge and be as neutral as possible, just waiting for life, friends and memories to happen…